I'll be in Bahrain in less than a month , which is an occasion for celebration. (I mean for me, but you can celebrate too if you feel the need)
A friend asked me an interesting question : "How do you think up this stuff ?". I replied telling him that I don't think up this stuff because there isn't much thinking involved.The key to it is not to think. In fact, the more I think the less sense the joke makes to me. So to make this clearer I'll give an example :
1. Take something that makes complete sense. Such as gravity.
2. Make the most uninformed generalization possible. Example: Gravity is cause of all wars, cause if we were all floating no one would want to fight, and even if we did bombs wouldn't work.
3. Don't read what you write after you typed it, that's called revision.Revision pretty much means you have to start over.
I've seen Grindhouse and AquaTeen: Hunger Force with friends, and both are pretty interesting movies. The first was fantastic, AND you get to see two movies for the price of one (which is always a good deal). The second was perhaps the craziest movie/cartoon I've ever seen, so if you're ever up for randomness to an extreme then you should watch it.
I was thinking of Tourettes syndrome the other day, its the illness where a person would scream out expletives for no reason. For example : "I was going to the SHIT store and FUCKING HELL bought groceries". Its not the worst thing you can have, but its pretty sucky.Anyway, wouldn't it be fantastic if you had reverse tourettes' ? You would shout out compliments randomly at any time for no reason. "I was going to the YOUR HAIR LOOKS GOOD store and I LIKE YOUR PERFUME bought groceries". People would think you're a pretty friendly guy. Would suck in a fight though : "You want a piece of this HANDSOME GUY ?! I'll kick your WELL TONED ass !"
I'm reading a history book about Vietnam for my American History class, its called A Rumor of War and its by Philip Caputo. What makes this book so special is that it has the single most uninteresting introduction I've ever read :
"This book does not pretend to be history.It has nothing to do with politics,power,strategy,influence,national interests, or foreign policy..."
Now to be fair its a really interesting book about the story of a soldier in Vietnam, but its just that for a person studying history those lines make a person say : "Screw it, I'll read something relevant".
On a side note there was an unemployed protest the other day, and I couldn't help thinking : "Well of course they're unemployed, they're spending all their time protesting... Guys, just put down the picket signs and go do something, clean something somewhere." Of course I said this to one of them, who took out a knife and mugged me. While it was distressing I couldn't help but tell him as he ran away with my wallet : "Now you've got it ! Go out there and be somebody ! Or rob one, whatever."
While the human body is a miracle on its own, there are things I wish were different.
* Instead of killing you with pain when you get injured your body should call the cops. It would be so much more helpful. "Someone call a doctor !" "Its ok, my foot is calling already."
* I wish semen tasted like chocolate and but was as nourishing as a steak dinner. It would solve world hunger and overpopulation wouldn't it ? I suppose the only problems would be an increase in sex-addicts as well as over-eaters ; an unfortunate increase in bulimia; and an increase in foot and mouth disease (or --- and mouth...)
* If only your body would listen when you talked to it. "Hey, remember this ,brain" "No prob bud". "Hey foot, kick this guy." "OW !" "My foot did it"
* I wish my body would work out while I 'm asleep. "Ok, goodnight stomach." "Night yourself, I've gotta hit the gym , you have a date tommorow".
I watched an old episode of Scooby Doo and realized how weird some of the mysteries were. Some were easy when it came to picking the villian, those were cool, but some episodes had a villian that had nothing to do with the crime. "Look Velma, it's the gardener that didn't even make an appearance in this episode or any other episode ! He did it !" "Why didn't I see it coming ,Shaggy?" "I guess its cause there isn't a garden here and we are on a boat in the middle of the Atlantic."
Mr.Miyagi says, "He who is at peace with himself, fights squirrels". No wonder you were fired from that fortune cookie factory.